Tuesday, July 12, 2005


I thought my stomach was growling because I haven't had any brains for almost a week now, but it turns out that the noise is actually from a rabid possum that crawled in through that pesky hole in my gut. I can't get it out. I think it's having babies.


Blogger Archangel_Rokan said...

In response to your first problem, is there a nursing home nearby (thoose would be some easy brains to get to) or you could just raid a science lab, I'm sure there will be a brain perserved in alcohol somewher (plus thats a double good thing you can use the alcohol to get drunkk). As for your seconed problem you could let new bub eat it out of you. I myself have a problem, after a fight with a deamon I lost some of my memory and can't find my way back to Heaven.

Does anybody know which way is Heaven

2:57 PM  
Blogger Private Ejaculations said...

Tom, try pouring a whole bunch of peppermint schnapps down your throat (or any other aperture that still connects to your thorax). This should evict the possum in short order while keeping your gasping breaths minty clean. A helpful hint for any undead is to keep a supply of 'red hot' cinnamon jawbreakers around. True, they don't taste like brains, but they do an admirable double duty of killing the tell-tale zombie smell and keeping small creatures from nesting in your body cavities. Good luck on the brains thing.

5:55 AM  
Blogger Zombie_Tom said...

What's with the two of you and your alcohol fixations?

Rokan, Heaven is the pure and genuine and not-at-all scripted love between Tom Cruise and his brainwashed child bride-to-be Katie Holmes. I'd check the nearest Scientology center if I were you.

P.E., I prefer Altoids. They're curiously strong. (Cha-ching! That's five bucks from the Altoids people.)

1:29 PM  
Blogger God_is_in_America said...

Just leave it there and see what happens...

3:58 PM  

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