Brains.

Well, it's about time!

The Zombie Uprising has begun, and I am all over it. In fact... I sort of started it.

I was in Starbucks, and I just wanted a caramel frappuccino, I swear. The "barista" (if that is a real word, and I suspect it isn't) asked me what size I wanted, and I said, "Small." And he said, "Do you mean tall?"

I thought he had misheard me (I have trouble enunciating ever since my tongue fell out), so I said, "No, I want a small."

He said, "A small is a tall." And I said, "That doesn't make any sense. Tall sounds like a large drink." And he said, "Not here at Starbucks!"

And then I looked at the board on the wall, and said, "Oh, I guess grande is a large, then." And he said, "No, grande is a medium." And I said, "But grande literally means 'large' in Italian," and he said, "Starbucks isn't Italian," and I said, "Well, you're trying to be all faux-Italian, aren't you, Mr. Barista," and he said, "Whatever, our large is called a venti," and that's when I ate his brains. Stuffed them in the blender, added some ice and caramel and whipped cream, and had me a brain frappuccino. Dee-lish!

Then I started eating everybody else's brains, and things got kind of out of hand. Next thing you know: Zombie Uprising.

I'm just taking a break from all the brain eating, blogging from my laptop in the Starbucks. Free wi-fi! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try to track down Ashley Tisdale and eat her brains before the military gets things back under control. (I'm a big fan of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.)